We have all heard the adage, “What’s good for the goose is also good for the gander,” but when it comes to relationships, this does not always seem to be true. Throughout history, there have been double standards that dictate how men and women are expected to behave in relationships. While some of these gender-based double standards may appear outdated or unfair today, they still exist in many cases.
Are you a victim of these relationship double standards? We will explore 20 common examples and discuss why they can be damaging for both partners involved. By understanding these issues and their effects on our relationships, we can work together toward creating more equitable partnerships between men and women. So let’s get started!
Demanding a good listener but can’t listen
It’s not uncommon for people in relationships to expect their partners to be active listeners, while they themselves don’t offer the same courtesy. This is one of the many double standards that can exist in a relationship, and it can cause tension between two people if it goes unaddressed.
People who demand a good listener from their partner but don’t listen themselves often find that this behavior creates an imbalance in the relationship dynamic.
When you’re a full-time mom, you don’t do anything
When you’re a full-time mom, it can be hard to find the time to date and nurture a romantic relationship.
Even when you do have some free time, there are so many double standards that come into play. You may feel like your partner expects you to perform all of your parenting duties without any help from them or that they expect more emotional support than they give in return.
Humiliation masked as a joke
Humiliation masked as a joke is a common double standard in relationships. One partner may be allowed to make fun of or tease the other, but when the tables are turned, and the other partner attempts to do the same, it is seen as disrespectful.
This unfairness can lead to feelings of frustration, anger, and hurt for the person who is not allowed to give back what they have received. It is important for couples to recognize when this type of behavior occurs and work together to ensure that both parties feel respected in their relationship.
Only one has the flirting license
It is often believed that when it comes to romantic relationships, men are allowed more freedom to flirt with other people. They have the ‘flirting license’ while women do not, and if they’re caught doing so, there’s a lot of judgment involved.
This double standard has been around for centuries and still exists in many cultures even today. It’s time we break this unjust notion and let everyone have the same flirting license!
Talking about the level of privacy
While men are often encouraged to talk about their relationships and personal lives openly, women are expected to keep details of their own relationships private. This double standard can lead to feelings of guilt or embarrassment for many women, who feel like they need to hide something that should be celebrated.
This lack of privacy can cause emotional distress, and it’s important for everyone in a relationship to have the same level of comfort and freedom when discussing their partnership with others.
The expectation that men always have to pay
One of the most common double standards in relationships is the expectation that men always have to pay for dates or other activities. This can be seen as an outdated form of gender inequality and can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration for both parties.
While it may not be wrong for men to offer to pay, it’s important that both parties are comfortable with who pays for what, so nobody feels like they’re being taken advantage of.
Validating jealousy
Jealousy is a natural emotion, one that can be both valid and invalid depending on the situation. While it’s true that feeling jealous of a partner’s relationships with others might be warranted, it is still important to recognize when jealousy is based on double standards or unrealistic expectations.
It can be difficult to understand if your jealous feelings are coming from a place of insecurity or fear, but it’s crucial for any relationship to examine the role of double standards in order to ensure healthy boundaries.
Disclosing private issues
There are often double standards when it comes to disclosing private issues. One party may be allowed to hide their private matters without consequence, while the other could be judged harshly for not being open and honest.
This kind of unequal treatment can lead to distrust and resentment within the relationship, so it is important to stay aware of any potential double standards that might exist.
Getting over the ‘hurt’ quickly
It is common for people to hurt each other in relationships, and when it happens, your partner may expect you to forgive and forget quickly.
However, when your partner is the one who has been hurt, it may seem selfish and insensitive if you ask them to just move on without properly addressing the issue.
Saying no to sex
For example, one partner may feel pressure to have sex even when they are not comfortable with it or not ready for it.
Saying no to sex does not make you any less of a person, and it is important to remember that your body is yours and that you have the right to decide what happens to it. Respect yourself by standing up for what you believe in and never let anyone take advantage of your boundaries.
One has to pick the call fast, and the other doesn’t have to
One of the most common double standards in relationships is that one partner has to pick up their phone quickly when the other calls, but the caller does not need to do so.
This imbalance can cause a lot of tension and resentment in a relationship as it implies that one person’s time is more valuable than the other’s. The best way to avoid this type of situation is for both partners to agree on a reasonable amount of time for responding to each other’s calls.
The debate of being friends with the opposite sex
The debate of being friends with the opposite sex has been a topic of discussion for many years. Many people have strong opinions on this matter, and some feel that it is wrong to be friends with someone from the opposite sex.
Others argue that there is nothing wrong with having platonic relationships and friendships with the opposite gender. While there are pros and cons to either side, it ultimately comes down to personal preference and respect for boundaries.
Using that time of the month to act rude and be insensitive
This is a case of double standards regarding women. It suggests that a woman can express her anger and frustration due to hormonal changes, but if a man were to do the same, he would be viewed negatively because he doesn’t have to deal with monthly hormonal fluctuations.
Your partner can drink and stay out, but you’re not allowed to
It’s a common double standard that many couples face in their relationships. While your partner is allowed to drink and stay out late, you’re not given the same freedom.
This can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration, as it seems like an unfair situation where one person has more freedom than the other. It’s important to discuss these double standards openly with your partner and come up with a solution that feels fair for both of you.
The fight over who needs to watch the kids when you’re both tired
When it comes to the fight over who needs to watch the kids when you’re both tired, a double standard often holds true. Generally, men expect women to take on this role due to traditional gender roles and expectations.
This type of double standard can lead to resentment and hurt feelings if it is not addressed properly. It is important for couples to discuss their expectations beforehand and make sure each partner is doing their fair share in caring for the children.
Managing all the household chores
Double standards come with relationships, such as one person doing more of the housework than the other.
This can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration if both partners don’t feel like they’re contributing equally. It is important for couples to be aware of these double standards in order to manage all the household chores and make sure everyone feels like they’re doing their fair share.
Your partner’s friends vs. your friends
Everyone expects their significant other to accept the people they care about, so it can be difficult to understand why a double standard exists when it comes to relationships.
There is no good reason for this type of behavior, and it should not be tolerated. It is important that both partners make an effort to get along with each other’s friends in order for the relationship to work out in the long run.
Transparency towards your finances and spending
A healthy relationship requires transparency and open communication when it comes to finances and spending. Both partners should be honest with each other about their financial situation, including debt, income, and investments.
This allows both parties to make informed decisions together about how to manage their money in a way that works for both of them. Being open about your finances also helps build trust between both partners as they learn more about each other’s financial goals and habits.
Treating each other’s families
Many times, one partner may be expected to put more effort into pleasing and taking care of their partner’s family members, while the other is not held to such expectations.
This can cause resentment and create tension within the relationship if both parties are not treated equally in this regard. Therefore, it is important to ensure that both partners are showing equal respect and kindness towards each other’s families so as to maintain a healthy relationship dynamic.
Meeting each other’s needs
In many cases, one partner may have different expectations than the other. This can lead to double standards that could be damaging to the relationship if not handled properly.
It is important for both parties to be aware of any double standards that exist and strive to meet each other’s needs in order to maintain a healthy relationship.
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